It's true what they say, sometimes you need to get away from the heticness (is that a word?) of Mumbai. Things that were funny to begin with like the staring men, the massive curbs, the lack of Bollywood action, the crappy supermarket, the fake Mcdonalds, the killing of innocent kittens (that wasn’t funny to begin with) the loose stools (neither was that) is all getting too much! Soooooo we are off for a long weekend, all inclusive, private beach villa with private swimming pool over looking the sea Holiday in Goa and I for one cannot wait!
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
|It comes up to my calf!|
(please excuse the camera cord)
|It should be named after me because I discovered it|
|I know, its a monster!|
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
|There was two of us, honest|
Good Earth, Raghuvanshi Mansion, Raghuvanshi Mills Compound, Lower Parel Mumbai, Maharashtra 400013 tel:022 2495 1954
Monday, March 28, 2011
When I found out Mumbai had a Sea Life centre, I already knew it was going to be crap, but that made me want to go even more! Paul wasn’t so keen after reading the minus one rating it received on Trip Advisor, but being the quick thinker I am, I pulled the “I moved to India for you” card, and before I knew it Ramesh was outside and we were on our way. When we arrived, there was a queue of at least 50 Indians waiting to get in, women on the left, men on the right, ‘promising’ we thought, maybe the minus rating on Trip Advisor was not to be believed after all! I joined my queue and Paul joined his, within 30 seconds we were ushered to the front where we paid our 15 rupees each (around 20p) by a very friendly man who was making necklaces out of broken shells (ouch). We got the sneaking suspicion that they didn’t get many white people visiting the aquarium as all of the staff wanted to shake our hand before we walked in, If they treat the fish as well as they are treating us this is going to be great! I thought...They don’t….
Thursday, March 24, 2011
|Paul is also scared of spiders and ladybirds|
It was my first official outing with our new driver Ramesh. First stop was Good Earth in Colaba, I’ve been dying to buy a cushion they have with a picture of a Indian woman’s face on it, but Paul hasn’t let me because he said her face was too scary and it would give him nightmares (that will teach you to not like my stories Hanley!) Cushion purchased, the next mission of the evening was to find a car parking space and at 6.15pm on a weekday it wasn’t going to be easy.
After waiting patiently for 30 minutes listening to Britney Spears’s Greatest Hits, a space became available. As traffic was trying to enter the Cricket Club, which is located at the end of the road, we had been required to shift and change our position a few times so we weren’t in the most ideal spot, in fact our unfortunate spot required Ramesh to conduct the most important 3 point turn of his career to date, one that involved avoiding a postal truck, a motor bike, a 4x4, a Suzuki Swift and reversing into the space! It looked impossible and time was running out, if we didn’t hurry someone else was going to park there, I couldn’t live with that, so I got out (as the car was moving because I felt it created more drama) and shouted ‘I’ll reserve the space Ramesh!’ I ran over and stood in the middle of it, declaring it was ours, but as I arrived a sneaky blue car started to pull in to MY space. I stood my ground and said very politely (the way English people do) ‘I am terribly sorry but we have been waiting a very long time, this is ours’. To this the man grunted, tried to run me over and managed to gain half of the space! This got me mad, very mad, it had been a long wait and granted my car wasn’t there yet but I was there first! ‘Excuse me’ I said loudly ‘This is my space, move!’ He just ignored me! It was like I was Israel and he was Palestine, both at logger heads!
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
|He must get bored, bless|
I found myself alone, standing in a lift for around ten minutes the other day, wondering why nothing was happening. The reason nothing was happening was because I had forgotten to press the button as I was so used to someone doing it for me! Another time, I went from the ground floor, up to the 20th floor, back down to the ground floor and back up again thinking ‘Wow this journey to the 5th floor is taking a long time’ the truth is I hadn’t pressed my floor, again! Yesterday, I trapped my hand in our apartments 1920 ’s style life as the nice lift man (not the kitten killing, cat strangling, Holi ruiner lift man) wasn’t there to slide it open for me! The list goes on and on! Life without a Lift Man is hard and full of perils and I feel India and I are very lucky to have them in our lives! Lift Men everywhere, I dedicate this to you:
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
|Me, taking my duties very seriously!|
After a shaky start Ramesh was triumphant! He beeped his horn only 4 times within an hour and a half, knew Mumbai like the back of his hand, held the door open on numerous occasions; not only for me but for Paul also, called me 'Maaaam' and Paul 'Siiirrrr', spoke a little English, conducted the best 3 point turn I have ever seen in my life, (the manoeuvring of the car throughout the busy traffic was like a scene out of the Matrix-) and he had a moustache (that wasn’t even in the criteria, that was just a bonus) impressive, Ramesh, very impressive!
Commiserations to Suresh who dictated how much bonus payment he wanted as soon as he got into the car and didn’t have a moustache.
Monday, March 21, 2011
I don’t know why but the word 'Holi' reminds me of Hula Hoops and ever since hearing the word 'Holi' I haven’t stopped craving the God dam things. I have scoured the street sheds or shops as they are more commonly known for a bag but to no avail. I’m not asking for the BBQ Beef or Cheese and Onion flavour just the original, ready salted, red bagged variety! Any help in locating a packet would be greatly appreciated.
Anyway, there is more to this post than my need for a potato based snack, this post is about our first Holi (Hula Hoops, Hula Hoops- stop it!!) in India. For those of you who don’t know, Holi has an ancient origin and celebrates the triumph of 'good' over 'bad'. On this day, people hug, wish each other 'Happy Holi’, get intoxicated and cover each other with beautiful colours.
make you high so you enjoy the Holi Festival in the traditional way. I know what your thinking ‘Sophie, Marijuana – You’ve changed’ But who can argue with tradition? Holi without Bhang is like Christmas without Jesus, would you take Jesus out of Christmas?? Would you??Bhang tastes like a mixture between grass and dirt which was actually quite nice, I had about 3 glasses, but it didn’t really effect me because I’m hardcore (not a hardcore drug addict, just hardcore in general)
Thursday, March 17, 2011
|I hope he's wearing a hard hat....|
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
|I couldn't find a picture of cat being strangled|
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
|Quick game: Where's Akbar? (he is actually in this picture)|
Monday, March 14, 2011
|ha ha haaa|
Trying not to choke on my own laugh I repeated ‘Gaylord?’
I could see my husband shaking his head out the corner of my eye as if to say –‘Don’t do it’
‘Yes Gaylord the bakery’ she replied with the straightest face I have ever seen in my life.
Now I tried with all my might to hold it in but there was nothing I could do- the biggest guffaw of laughter left my mouth, and I couldn’t stop, tears were streaming down my face, the poor landlady couldn’t understand what was happening and neither could I.
My husband clearly embarrassed changed the subject.
But Gaylords though?? I’m sorry but that’s funny, even in your 20’s!! Ou I'm off again, ha ha ha haaaa!
Gaylord Restaurant/ Bakery, Mayfair Building, 79, Veer Nariman Road, Churchgate
Friday, March 11, 2011
We have just purchased a beautiful giant mirror and crystal chandelier from an amazing Antique shop in Colaba which needs wiring up. Normally I could rely on Dave Goddard, father and electrician extraordinaire, for all my electrical needs but as he is living in the UK I need to look elsewhere. As I couldn’t locate a Yellow Pages (do they still exist?) I took to the streets (well, our hotel front desk) and asked if they could recommend an electrician, “There’s a man next to the florist opposite the hotel” the guy said. “Ok” I replied, and walked merrily across the road. This is what I found….
|Notice the massive underpants on the washing line in the background!|
Needless to say the search continues!
|The con in action- sooo professional|
So based on the success of my research I am totally ripping this idea off and putting the link on the right hand side of my blog, so now you have no excuse not to read my blog when you are at work, well unless you are busy or dead.
Thursday, March 10, 2011
|My new best friend|
I was very happy as for the first 5.5 weeks of being here I have had the pride and satisfaction of saying ‘No we have both been fine, thank you for your concern’ and feeling proud of my iron insides…. That was until Friday…. Dressed up to the nines I met up with Paul and his work colleagues as it was our friend Fabrice’s birthday, we first had drinks at Geoffrey’s bar at the Marine Plaza hotel on Marine Drive then made the hour long drive to Ju Hu (which rhymes with woo hoo which is one of my favorite things to say) The first stop on the list was Aurus which has lovely views of the sea and Ju Hu (there it is again) beach. After a strawberry Mojito I was ready to hit the town hard, Paul wasn’t. We said our good byes and made the long trip back Colaba! Less than impressed I nursed my husband to health over three days, although I felt sorry for Paul I also felt secretly smug that I hadn’t caught it- Big mistake on Monday night around 1.00am it started- I’m still recovering. Well it was bound to happen sooner or later!
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
|RIP Flea (that was its name)|
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Sunday, March 6, 2011
|No Paul! We don't have the same nose!|
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
|Yes that is barbed wire- security first!|
Paul and I had made it our mission of the day to find him somewhere to have a hair cut which I didn’t think would be possible as the majority of haircuts I’ve seen have been taking place on the street- no joke!
It was packed to the rafters! I felt like I was in a 1920’s Movie! As well as men having their hair cut and dyed they were having shaves with cutthroat razors, I was on the edge of my seat! Surprised at the sheer amount of people who wanted a short back and sides on Saturday afternoon I also couldn’t get over the amount of staff Mr. Air Cool had, around 30 barbers – one for each chair, the men who passed the barbers the equipment, the men who swept up the hair, the men who wash the hair, the men who clean the chairs and the man who takes the money.
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
After being in bed for the last 2 days for no other reason that I couldn’t be bothered to get up, aka addicted to the first series of Glee; I decided to go on an outing. My first stop was to be a place called Fountain, I was told it’s the place to go. Lovely I thought, a beautiful fountain, I’ll spend the day there, it might sing like the one in Barcelona! On the way the taxi driver said something to me, it sounded like ‘How do you do?’ I thought that’s very odd but said ‘fine thank you’ and carried on trying not to be sick as we passed through a very smelly part of town. We then took a sharp turn and stopped directly outside a slum, a little bit apprehensive I turned to my left to see the Indian version of a Kwikfit....
|It even looks smelly|
The taxi driver hadn’t asked ‘How do you do?’ at all, he must have actually said ‘I need to go and change my tyre do you mind?’ -It didn’t sound like that.
After a few minutes of holding my breath, (a moment longer I would have passed out) we were back on the road and shortly arrived at ‘Fountain’; not a fountain at all but a market remminisant to one that can be found in Bloxwich, Walsall full of poor quality clothes and knock offs! I asked to be taken back to the hotel immediately. An adventure though.